Remember that humping beagle I had a few weeks ago?

For three whole torturing days, we had to tame a wild beast, running around the porch, leaving its stinkin' poo on our slippers and pee-ing on the plants, etc.





And as we heartbrokenly saw the hyperactive dog walking all over it's pee and poo, spreading it all over the driveway and the porch, we finally decided, it's time to give this dude a bath.

So here's another guide by jonming.com on





Beagles are nasty animals. Especially the untamed, untrained males of this particular breed, they rummage through your plants, shit right on the doormat, and pee on mom's car tyres... I mean, this may sound somewhat exaggerated, but wait till you really see the dude humping you. So,

Lesson No. 1: Bathe your beast frequently,

as you'll never know what it did during the last few days. And maybe you'll even wish it ate chocolate after knowing what it did.





So now, after the stinking creature has dog poo and urine all over its paws, soil and ticks and a thick layer of dust on its fur, and god know what else on his other body parts,

It's time to give him a nice long bath.





So, some people might ask, "what's so difficult about giving a dog a bath?"

well then, let me tell you.

Firstly, it can never stay put, even if there's nothing around to smell or see. or lick. And besides that it can't seem to understand that even though it's already chained to an immovable object, it still tries to escape, being tugged backwards again and again. So in order to tranquilize it,

Lesson No. 2: Find your beast's weak point.

like for my beast, its seemingly weak point is its tail, in which if you have a firm grip of it, the beast will be stunned into immobility and discipline, i.e. in the image above.





Besides that, all beasts have a special attack, namely the common wiggle. When the beast takes its attack stance to perform the wiggle, you are advised to

Lesson No. 3: Flee from the AoE of your beast's attack

because the water elemental droplets from the attack may cause you to lose health points and you will eventually die from the poisoning wrinkles.

Warning: Level 6 Beasts have an AoE (Area of Effect) of approximately 0.9 meters in radius.





Now the other hard part, is the drying process. Here, we have to be fluent in close-combat contact with the beast, but I believe that most people out there are marginally inexperienced in this area. So to start off with the process, take an intimidating stance, i.e. the picture above, hold your drying tool with a firm grip, and attack the beast from the neck downwards.





You are advised to do it speedily, as the beast may get untamed any moment. Oh and remember,

Lesson No. 4: Do not allow the beast's mouth to be able to reach your drying tool

because you will end up like this.




and this.





Now ,once you've completely bathed the beast, you may want to

Lesson No. 5 Store away your equipment

in a closed compartment, where it is out of reach of your beast, because if you leave it lying around, it will start to rummage through and destroy the equipment lying around. Which will subsequently be almost impossible to recover, depending on the Strength and Dexterity of the beast.





You may also want to

Lesson No. 6: Watch out for any surprise attacks

by the beast after its rejuvenating bath which had restored its stamina and HP. These attacks may include digging in the garden, playing fetch with itself and most commonly humping.





A trick to dispel such an attack is to

Lesson No. 7: Drain the beast's energy

down to point that it would just walk away and not be bothered even by the ticks on itself.





Taro.





Another problem I find very mind-blogging about these beasts is that they tend to be very much indecisive in most of the matters. One of them is their appetite. Sometimes they grumble over not serving them at the right time,





and other times they prefer not to gobble down anything all of a sudden.





and when you walk away, they trace your steps, eyeing on the serving in your hand.





Well, if such behavior is seen as intolerable, then you should consider to

Lesson No. 8: Subject the beast to threat

and perhaps just lock him outside and not serve him his daily meal.

Or if your beast is an apprehensive one, you could just use the good ol' line,





"woof woof!"

*gives puppy eyes*

Labels: life around me